Jim Palmer

“Let’s start with three things we know for sure:

1. The human reality is characterized by impermanence and change.

Everything that arises has the nature to change and pass away, which includes anything you can see, touch, hear, smell, touch, taste, and think. Health, finances, possessions, success, thoughts, feelings, relationships, physical appearance, body, mind, abilities, skills, circumstances, etc. The material world around us arises and passes away. Our thoughts and feelings arise and pass away. This is why we cannot attain lasting peace, happiness and well-being by seeking some combination of preferable life circumstances or trying to attain and abide in some continuous spiritual state of happy and serene thoughts and feelings.

To live life skillfully is to respond to situations as the require; by all means do this. If there is something you can do to lessen or remove unnecessary difficulty from your life, it makes sense to do so. But becoming attached to conditions, situations, or circumstances as the source of your peace, well-being and happiness will only lead to suffering. Life is uncertain and unpredictable.

We worth, love, acceptance, security, peace, worth and happiness out there in the world, and the result is that we live in fear.

We fear failure because we have a misplaced dependency upon “success” for value and worth. We fear rejection because We have a misplaced dependency upon others’ opinions and responses to you for acceptance. We fear financial loss because We have a misplaced dependency upon money for peace and security. We fear abandonment because we have a misplaced dependency upon others for love. We fear God because We have a misplaced dependency upon religion that measures your value against your performance. We fear aging or not having the perfect body because We have a misplaced dependency on physical appearance for worth and acceptance. We fear honesty because you have a misplaced dependency on an image of having it all together for a sense of identity. We fear being a nobody because We have a misplaced dependency upon being a somebody for a sense of purpose and meaning and value.

2. We cannot find a fixed, unchanging self.

In terms of that which is characterized by impermanence and change, you are included! We know that our real Self is born out of the image, likeness and being of God. The image, likeness and being of God is the underlying, unchanging, fundamental and permanent essence of our real Self. And yet our mind and body, and all it’s related components, are a part of those things that arise, change, decline and pass away.

That underlying, unchanging, fundamental and permanent YOU, CANNOT be:

your possessions because your possessions arise, change, decline and pass away;

your roles and relationships in life because your roles and relationships in life arise, change, decline and pass away;

your physical appearance or body because your physical appearance and body arise, change, decline and pass away;

your skills and abilities because your skills and abilities arise, change, decline and pass away;

your personal traits and characteristics because your personal traits and characteristics arise, change, decline and pass away;

your thoughts and feelings because your thoughts and feelings arise, change, decline and pass away.

Okay, so where am I? Where is this Self, which is me? Point to it. Locate it. You can’t! And there is something profoundly fundamental about this that we must grasp.

We take ourselves to be an independent, self-existing, solid, separate, self, and this notion is the first domino that falls that leads to suffering. We have no sense of ourselves beyond our mind and body, and falsely assume that our real Self is contained within or somehow synonymous with the mind and body. And yet we cannot really locate and find this person.

3. We encounter suffering.

The result of the first two things is that we experience life as suffering.

You desire love, peace, freedom, and contentment in this world. Don’t you? Your seeking would be complete if you attained them and could keep a hold of them. But that doesn’t happen, does it? You work so hard and the pay-off is so small. You desire and seek these realities but they are fleeting and vulnerable. You have mixed and matched several scenarios in life trying to be happy and it doesn’t last. I bet you’ve experienced your fair share of disappointment heartache in the process.

You experienced the bliss of another’s love, but then you were heartbroken. You were right on target for realizing your dream, but the one thing you never expected happening, happened. You poured yourself into knowing God, but your depression returned. You got the latest technology but now it’s just another thing. You constructed an air-tight and bulletproof theology, became fully vested, but still lay in bed at night, grieving what your life is and what it isn’t. You did church, crammed the Bible into your brain, lived a moral life, and shouted Jesus from the roof-tops, but the peace and freedom and fulfillment never seemed to come or stay around very long.

You raised good kids and have enjoyed a wonderful marriage, you’ve got a good job and great friends, but there’s still emptiness inside. You did the vacation in Europe, but then it ended, and it was time to return home. You gave of yourself sacrificially, but you still felt that dull ache of discontent inside. One day you were in perfect health, the next day in a hospital.

You did it all. You followed the rules. You broke the rules. You wrote the rules. But in the end, it wasn’t enough. The whole seek-and-find thing proved to be pie in the sky. So instead you tell yourself, “Quit whining, suck it up, this life is going to be a crapshoot, trust and obey, be good, don’t mess up, and hold on until heaven.” Or maybe you think you’re too messed up to experience true peace – like you’re hopelessly stuck in the always-striving-but-never-quite-getting-there mode.

This is the basic human condition.

And yet Jesus said the kingdom of God is here, that knowing the truth would set you free, and that there is peace not as this world gives.

How earnest is your desire to know these things Jesus spoke of? Are you willing to risk your comfort and security to know them?”

- Jim Palmer, Notes from (Over) the edge

There is a peace that transcends all understanding… a peace not as this world gives… a deeper, lasting, ultimate peace.

But there’s a paradox. Our mind and body wants to have, hold, and experience this peace, and we seek after it. But in our seeking we push it further away.

The peace that transcends all understanding is the fruit of the cessation of all effort. The minute you make peace an outcome to attain, you have driven it away. The fruit IS the outcome, but you cannot be attached to the fruit as an outcome to seek.

The peace beyond knowing is always present, is never diminished or threatened, and never goes away. A cloudy day is not an indication that the sun is absent. Though you can’t see it, the sun is simply above the clouds. Whether you are aware of it or not, peace is the underlying, unchanging, and fundamental essence of your true Self. Peace is not something you ever lack or lose; it’s who you are. The cloud cover is all your seeking and striving of the mind and body.

Consider the possibility that the fruit of detaching from all that striving of your mind and body is a quiescence that you back into… a peace beyond knowing.

“There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
- Ernest Hemingway

“I understand Ernest. You bleed. There are times when writing is torment. It won’t let you take the easy way out. Believe me, I’ve tried many times. But you’re haunted with thoughts of settling, not getting it right. It’s not perfectionism; it’s that you have to fight and claw to the real, raw, naked truth of a thing. You can use the word “sadness” and walk away, but is it really that? Or is it deeper than that, wider than that, bigger than that, more painful than that. Maybe it’s “anguish.” Or maybe there is no singular word and you have to describe it. Maybe it wasn’t sadness, maybe it was” feeling like you were going to die or wanted to.”

You put your writing out there for public consumption and it seems simple enough, but people don’t see the ache that sometimes goes into each word. It’s not only that you’re dipping your pen into the bottle of your own heartache, if that wasn’t bad enough, but it’s the unrelenting demand not to cheapen it with the wrong words. You have to honor what’s in that bottle of pain by getting it right – you owe that much to yourself.

Writing is not gourmet coffee, rainbows and ponies. There are times when writing is maddening. Sometimes I want to scream! Writing is unforgiving. You’re typing away and suddenly an unwelcome memory is thrust upon you, and you think to yourself, “Not going there!” But the writing gods aren’t so easily appeased. They will push and pull you to it, kicking and screaming the whole way. You can fight it; they always win.

Sometimes I wonder why I keep writing. I didn’t really choose writing, it chose me. It’s not just that I “want” to write. There’s a way I don’t have a choice – I “have” to write. I can’t not write. Some days that’s a blessing, other days a curse. It’s work. Sometimes the muse feels like wrestling an alligator. I’ve written chapters, and practically wept the entire way through it. Sometimes I’m utterly exhausted and drained at the end of writing just one paragraph. Cathartic??? It’s more like death by writing.

And then at the end of all of that, if you survive it, you lay yourself bare in words for the entire world to see, all the while knowing you didn’t succeed to even satisfy yourself, much less others. You tell yourself you did the best you could and move on.

For all the erroneous thoughts people have about the life of comfort, ease and fame of an author, people can’t see that it’s more or less a thankless endeavor. For what can you really receive in exchange for the blood you lose that Hemingway referred to? For the rare and few writers who make it big financially, there are a million others like me who struggle to make ends meet just like you.

But just when you are stuck in that moment of frustration and discouragement, ready, willing and begging to walk away from it all, you receive an email from someone who shares how something you wrote helped them… encouraged them, freed them, emboldened them, inspired them, gave them hope, made them feel understood and accepted, or opened their eyes to see themselves differently.

And that’s enough to sign up to bleed another day.”

- Jim Palmer

It’s Father’s Day, which is a very painful day each year in the lives of many of us who had or have a broken relationship with our father. RELEVANT Magazine asked me if I’d write about it. You can read the article here.

I hear a lot about “quieting the mind.” Somehow we have this notion that we can or should rid the mind of all thoughts in order to penetrate the deeper truth and reality of things. This would be the equivalent of telling a bird not to fly or a fish not to swim. The mind thinks – end of story. It is a concept-generating machine. That’s just what it does in the same way that a bird flies and fish swim. The mind (and its cognitive functions) along with the functioning of your body is what allows you to have a human experience. The mind is not a problem, and you’re never going to stop your mind from being a mind and thinking.

In a nutshell, this is how it goes. New and different thoughts are continuously bubbling up in your mind like a fountain. They arise spontaneously based on conditions or circumstances. When this naturally occurs, fine. No problem. This is just what happens.

When this can become a problem is when we reach into the fountain, grab a hold of a thought, analyze it, and work it over and over and over in our conceptualizing mind. This can be a problem in two ways. First it can be a problem if we are grabbing a hold of disempowering, destructive or self-defeating thoughts. Secondly, it can be a problem if we are trying to figure out something the mind is not capable of understanding, like the “peace beyond all comprehension,” or the truth and reality that is beyond the capabilities of the dualistic mind.

Consider it this way. “Quieting the mind” is not stopping the thoughts. “Quieting the mind” is stopping the stopping of thoughts. In other words, let your thoughts happen without restraint or attachment.

A man standing on the banks of a stream can either observe a twig floating by, or he can kneel down, reach out, and grab the twig out of the water. Your thoughts are like the twig. See them, acknowledge them, give them whatever proper attention they truly require, and then let them keep floating down the stream.

Why Women Resent Conservative, Patriarchal “Christianity”
Reason #23

Click here.

16 things people report about their shedding religion journey:

1. You’re losing your religion but gaining your sanity.
2. Maybe you left church because it wasn’t helping you know God or grow spiritually.
3. You know you are on the right path but trying to explain that path to others is like nailing Jello to a wall, and you often feel misunderstood.
4. Your new life beyond religion isn’t quite as defined as things used to be.
5. You have twice as many questions as you do answers but strangely you’re okay with this.
6. Sometimes you doubt yourself, and crave a religious fix to make you feel better.
7. You desperately wish someone (anyone!) would just accept you where you are right now.
8. Oh, for just a couple of people you could sit down with face-to-face and talk with about all this stuff without the threat of judgment and condemnation!
9. On Monday you feel free, and on Tuesday you wonder if you are going crazy.
10. Christ without Christianity, truth without theology, and community without church makes complete sense to you but it also makes you a heretic among some of your former friends who avoid you in the grocery store.
11. You don’t know how to answer the question, “Are you a Christian?”
12. You refuse to divulge the books you are currently reading because you know it’s going to alarm the people who already think you’ve gone off the deep end.
13. You get nauseated when you hear Christanese.
14. You’re not sure where your Bible is.
15. Suddenly you’re liking the people who were previously classified as “them.”
16. Prayer is more an authentic and powerful desire for the liberation of others and contributing to it, rather than a magic God-wand to save the day.

Does any of this sound familiar?

God… my next breath
God… the life running through my veins
God… the wind outside my window
God… the music in my ears
God… the sunrise in my eyes
God… the smell of approaching rain
God… the laughter with my daughter
God… the ecstasy with my partner
God… the sorrow in my heart
God… the warm sun on my face
God… my awareness that I am complete and whole
God… the next pair of eyes I meet
God… the feeling of peace inside
God… in my passion
God… in my openness
God… in my sensitivity
God… in my anger
God… in my letting go
God… in my holding on
God… in my wonder
God… in my courage
God… in my fear
God… in my confusion
God… in my heartache
God… as my next encounter
God… as my next text, email or phone call
God… as the next person
God… as me
God… the next moment
God… the next feeling
God… my next creation
God… in all things
God… through all things
God… as all things
God inseparable from life and living.

Religion has always been an avenue that people have used to bargain for God’s blessing. If we do our part, we often think, God will do his part and grant us well-being of one sort of another. Let’s face it – the world can sometimes seem like a random and frightening place. People turn to God and religion in hopes of finding some measure of security, protection, and favor. All of this raises the question – What can we expect from God?

First off, the notion of pleasing or obeying God in order to gain favorable life circumstances as “God’s blessing” is false. The world is characterized by impermanence and was never intended to be the source of peace, happiness, contentment, well-being, and freedom. There is no measure of pleasing or obeying God that is ever going to change the fundamental nature of the world, which is impermanence. Thoughts, feelings, moods, finances, health, job, people, relationships, situations, conditions, circumstances, possessions, abilities, etc. are all characterized by impermanence and subject to change. And none of these things are entirely in our control.

As a rule of thumb in life, responding to situations as they require with wisdom and skill will yield a better result than responding out of ignorance and incompetence. Likewise, if we sow seeds of love, kindness, and compassion in our lives we are likely to experience a quality of life that is more enriching than if we sow seeds of hatred, selfishness, and bitterness.

But the idea that obedience, faithfulness and spiritual maturity should result in God blessing your life with favorable circumstances is false. If this were true, God really missed the boat when it came to Jesus, who experienced levels of physical, mental, emotional and psychological pain that few people ever have or will.

The reason why people are so caught up with seeking favor from God is that they wrongly assume that peace and happiness has something to do with better life circumstances. This is the spiritual ignorance that too often drives our lives and relationship to God.

The world is messed up in all the ways it is due to our spiritual ignorance. It’s that simple. Right now there is starvation, poverty, war, oppression, environmental destruction, racism, genocide, and a long list of other maladies that are a result of what WE are doing. It’s not Satan – it’s me, it’s you, it’s us. It’s not the demon of greed, the demon of addiction, the demon of violence, the demon of pride, the demon of infidelity – it’s my/your/our greed, addiction, violence, pride, and infidelity. What’s unfortunate about this are the people who suffer for the greed, pride, violence, addiction, etc… of others. There are people all over the world right now who live in poverty, oppression, hunger and abuse, and it’s NOT because they are cursed by God. On the other hand, there are people all over the world right now who live in prosperity, abundance and comfort, and it’s NOT because they are blessed by God.

So, what can we expect from God?

Let’s start with what God is not going to do. God is not going to indulge the notion of blessing you with favorable circumstances. God is not going to override the law of gravity or the law of impermanence to make you happy. Why? Because God is mean? No, because your circumstances are not related to true peace, well-being, and happiness.

Nor is God (or Satan) going to curse people with bad circumstances. We are the ones who created the mess, and we are the ones who must clean it up. But instead, we’d rather find someone or something else to blame to avoid taking personal responsibility for our individual and collective choices.

This sounds sort of depressing! What in the heck then can we expect of God???

Consider that the whole premise of the question is a bit flawed. It assumed there is “us” and there is some separate “God” out there somewhere, pulling the strings.

God is spirit. The likeness, image, being, nature of God is the underlying, unchanging and fundamental essence of who you and I are, and our true Self. That Self cannot be improved or diminished, is never threatened, and will never die. That Self is whole, complete, free, peace, wisdom, love, and well-being. What we fight and claw for in the world, we already are at the deepest level. What we seek God for in our obedience, faithfulness, and devotion, we already are at the deepest level.

What we can expect to be true is that we are never separated from God, peace, love, freedom, wholeness, well-being or each other. We can expect this reality to always be present in every moment because this reality is who we are. This is what Jesus meant when he said the Kingdom of God is within you.

This is what we are to learn on our human journey. This is the truth that sets US free.

Q: “Our present imperfection and groanings are designed to prepare us for our future sonship. God intends those things we see as wrong within us and in the world in which we live as purposeful, in order to create in us a hunger for heaven.

The groaning of the creation is due to a divine sentence of corruption and futility. Creation has been in the process of deterioration since the fall of man. Our own bodies bear testimony to the process of corruption. My body is on the downhill slope of its existence—my hair falls out—my stomach sticks out—my brain blanks out more of the time. Creation groans because of the irreversible process of deterioration and decay. In essence, like men, the earth is dying.

Corruption and deterioration results in a life characterized by futility. Futility is the opposite of hope. Futility means that no matter how hard we try to resist or reverse the process of corruption, it is inevitable. We may buy a new house, but soon termites find it and begin the process of decay. If not, mildew or dry rot begins to appear. Then there are earthquakes, floods and other natural disasters. Our new car soon begins to leak oil. The transmission starts to slip. The seat covers become soiled. Rust begins to work away at the metal. Sooner or later, the car will find its way to the wrecking yard and then to the crusher. The work of our hands, in the long run, is futile.”

A: First, there is no “future sonship” – we were born into our “sonship.” Secondly, it’s a little too convenient for an upper-middle class white American to have an interpretation of the gospel to go something like this, “The world is messed up. There’s no fixing it, it’s meaningless to try, it’s inevitable; I’m biding my time till God whisks me off to Heaven.” Here’s the deal – you and I (all of us) are responsible for the suffering in this world, and it’s here because of our spiritual ignorance. WE CAN FIX IT! We don’t have to hate, abuse, oppress, harm or wound people or any living things.

The world is characterized by impermanence. That’s just the way it is. That’s why your body, mind and car falls apart – like everything else, they are characterized by impermanence. This is only a problem because we attach our identity and source of meaning/happiness to things like our body, mind, and car. Consider that it was in this world of impermanence in which Jesus said over, and over, and over, and over again that the Kingdom of God had come!

The world is groaning alright, but for what? For you and I to wake up from the illusion and see things as they truly are. Listen, there is pain in this world that is a natural part of the human experience. If you hit your thumb with a hammer, there will be emotional pain. If a loved one dies, there will be emotional pain. But all the other stuff you mentioned is a result of our spiritual ignorance.

The world is characterized by impermanence. Deal with it! How? It was never meant to be the source of your peace, happiness and well-being. Start with that consideration. Live your life as if every human being is your mother or father, sister or brother. When it is within your power and opportunity to do good, do it. Respond to the situations of life as they require. This is how Jesus lived.

St. Francis put it this way:

“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Amen”